the rights of the husband

in the name of Allah, may Allah help us to become solihah wives, who get to enter jannah from whichever doors we choose!

lembut

self reminder:

Bersikap lembutlah wahai para istri... Setinggi apapun jabatan yang engkau miliki, sekeras apapun pekerjaan yang engkau tekuni, bagi lelaki, perempuan adalah simbol kelembutan, kehangatan, cinta, dan kasih sayang. Maka bersikap lembutlah kepada suami, kepada anak-anak, pembantu, tetangga, keluarga besar, juga pada diri sendiri. Jangan terbiasa bersikap kasar, keras dan menyakiti orang lain, apalagi terhadap orang-orang yang seharusnya dikasihi.... - PAK CAH

dua while pregnant

Dia lah (Allah) yang menciptakan kamu semua dari (hakikat) diri yang satu, dan Ia mengadakan daripada hakikat itu pasangannya (diri suami isteri), untuk bersenang hati dan hidup mesra yang satu kepada yang lain. Ketika suami mencampuri isterinya, mengandunglah ia dengan kandungan yang ringan, serta teruslah ia dengan keadaan itu (ke suatu waktu). Kemudian ketika ia merasa berat (dan menaruh bimbang) berdoalah suami isteri itu kepada Tuhan mereka (dengan berkata):” Sesungguhnya jika Engkau (wahai Tuhan kami) mengurniakan kami nikmat yang baik, tentulah kami menjadi orang-orang yang bersyukur”. 7:189

 هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا ۖ فَلَمَّا تَغَشَّاهَا حَمَلَتْ حَمْلًا خَفِيفًا فَمَرَّتْ بِهِ ۖ فَلَمَّا أَثْقَلَت دَّعَوَا اللَّهَ رَبَّهُمَا لَئِنْ آتَيْتَنَا صَالِحًا لَّنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الشَّاكِرِينَ

:D

Abu Hanifah meriwayatkan dalam musnadnya, dari Jabir bin Abdullah, seorang telah menemui Rasulullah lalu berkata, “Wahai Rasulullah, saya tidak dikurniakan seorang anak pun dan sehingga kini saya tidak memiliki anak”.

Lalu Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, “Sudahkah kamu memperbanyakkan beristighfar dan bersedekah. Kamu akan dikurniakan (anak) berkat kedua-dua amalan itu”. Dengan izin Allah, orang yang mengadu nasibnya, akhirnya dikurniakan dengan sembilan anak lelaki.

the obedient

"Dear, the linen is not straight!" the wife exclaimed.

"No honey, it is fine. let it be" said the husband, trying to save time.

"Let me fix it". The wife was determined to perfect the bed, to please her OCD eyes.

"No. go get ready", and the husband stood between the wife and the bed, as he was firm with his decision.

And she was hurt. "Hubby always has it his way! This is unfair!" the wife silently complained.

See, it is not easy for a person who has been living to her own decisions for a majority of her lifetime, and suddenly has to receive orders from someone else.

It is not easy for an ukht who leads multiple halaqahs, who organizes programs with many participants and receiving only orders from distant murobbis, then suddenly she has to be an obedient creature, following every wishes and demands from a person. Of the opposite sex too!

So she cried. She silently protested. She recited the quran, when the husband was sitting next to her, trying to create conversations.

Then Allah showed her this aayah..

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. Quran 4:34

They have lovingly spent their savings so much for you. So righteous women, be devoutly obedient, even if its hard.

Thank you Allah. :)

isteri kedua

In the name of Allah,

Bila orang kata selamat menjadi isteri kedua jika mengahwini daie atau mujahid, saya ingat itu hanya mainan bahasa, poyo semata.

Bila ada ukhti meminta maaf (publicly) kerana belum bersedia membenarkan zaujnya ke palestin, saya tak faham kenapa dia tidak merelakan. bukankah itu cita-cita ulung semua?

Bila orang sanjung-sanjung khansa ra, kerana menghantar kesemua anaknya pergi berjihad, saya tidak merasakan itu big deal atau pengorbanan besar.

Kini faham. Istilah isteri kedua itu, bukanlah hanya mainan bahasa. Weekend, waktu cuti, yang mungkin sebagai manusia biasa kita mahu spend dengan orang tersayang, akan dicemburui dakwah. Akan dicemburui keperluan ummah. Berapa ramai asatizah yang terpaksa berjauhan dengan family beberapa minggu, kerana dihantar mengisi daurah di luar negara? Dan kalau dalam negara pun.

Moga allah terima pengorbanan kita. Dan sakeenah itu bukan pada bilangan jam yang diluangkan bersama, tetapi rasa cukup yang Allah letakkan. Have never felt this rahmah and mawaddah before.

This is a testimony how much I heart you, zauji.



'Ala kulli haal, jazakumullahukhairankatheera kepada ikhwah akhawat yang memahami, membantu, dan meng-accommodate.

trials

in the name of Allah...

All praise be to Allah, for I am in a very happy marriage. We have never fought, not a single major disagreement.

But seeing other ikhwah/akhawat/islamic scholars/syuyukhs who have complications in their marriage scared me to bits. I've seen it all, arguments as early as during the engagement period, physical abuse, baling periuk, live separately for months due to disagreement, divorce, etc.  What if any of these happen to us? Maybe not now but in the future, only God knows what will happen.

I told my concerns to zauji, and loved his answer. He simply said,
"bukan manusialah kita jika tiada masalah"

In the end, all those are trials and tribulations that God gave to those who can take the burden. so let's pray for them, but not be affected negatively by what happened.

I pray that in the end, everyone will live happily ever after in jannah. Even if its not with their current/ex spouse. inshaAllah.

May Allah give all of you strength to live this short, temporary, worldly life.