relationship

There are six keys to a GREAT relationship:

1- Friendship: Try to be your spouse best friend. No matter what happens, be a friend first, and a lover later.

 2- Trust: The key element to any relationship is trust, so before starting this beautiful journey with your spouse, learn to trust in all circumstances.

 3- Understanding: Try to figure out each other and work out on our differences. There are going to be many differences, but it’s mutual compromise and sacrifice which makes this relationship beautiful.

4- Communication: Try to talk and convey your message to your spouse. Let your spouse know about how good/ bad your day was along with remind them how you feel for them.

5- Honesty: Always speak the truth, never lie or hide things in fear that your spouse won’t understand. Give your spouse a chance to understand you.

6- Freedom: Give your spouse space and freedom to decide for themselves. Don’t take away the personal time of your spouse. When you have practiced all of the above, then trust Allah and you will see how beautiful life gets.

taaruf?

Ada ke sebenarnya proses taaruf dalam islam?
Awesome post here: http://salimafillah.com/nazhar-bukan-sekedar-taaruf/

Our taaruf

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful,

So many of my beloved akhawat wanted a detailed list of events on how my baitulmuslim was formed, as they need some guidance while they go through the taaruf process themselves.

I was planning to write the full story, but I dont think I will be able to do that in the near future. huhu. so here goes a summary of how our taaruf went.

I sent my bm form a long time ago, albeit not believing in the theory of marriage after seeing first hand domestic abuse cases and failed marriages between ikhwah and akhawat.

Anyways, in a separate event, zauji (then stranger) told his naqib that he wanted to get married. His naqib suggested a few names, and when it came to me zauji agreed. His naqib asked my naqibah if I wanted to get married at that time, and if my family allows it happening in the near future. Naqibah asked me, I told my parents and they gave the green light but wanted to meet zauji (then stranger) first. That was the point when we exchanged our biodata/profiles/the infamous bm forms.

Zauji (then stranger) was reluctant to meet my parents before meeting me face to face, as he wanted to make his heart firm that he is really putting forward the marriage proposal. So we met, at a mosque, with his naqib and his naqib's wife accompanying us.

It was nerve wrecking. Thankfully his naqib and naqib's wife were late, so I had extra time alone at the masjid to really purify my heart and intentions for the meeting (May Allah accept my 3mal).

The meeting was about an hour or so, questions were asked back and forth. I had a list of questions that I made up after reading his form, but too shy to even bring the paper out (lol). So it was more him asking me questions and me whispering the answers to the naqib's wife. Rofl. Not something you should follow!

Both of us were satisfied with the meeting, and agreed to continue taaruf through email threads. He then met my parents who interviewed him without my presence, and afterwards I met his parents without his presence to know zauji (then stranger) better.

That face to face meeting was our first and last due to geographical barriers. We continued taaruf on email threads cc-ing to my parents - for personal and wedding related issues, and cc-ing his naqib and the naqib's wife for daawah and tarbiyah issues. To be real honest I didn't really know him when we got married, and I was worried sick about that, but alhamdulillah with Allah's Mercy and Power everything went so smoothly! I can't ask for a more perfect match, and I get lovely surprises everyday as I know him better.

Zauji, 143!

BM

BM...

Ia tidak semudah yang disangkakan. Sebuah perkahwinan bukan sekadar pertemuan 2 belahan pinang bagi memuaskan kehendak biologi mereka, atau menjadi perhiasan mereka semata-mata, tetapi ada matlamat yang lebih besar ingin tercapai. Ia sekadar hadaf (objektif), bukan ghoyah (matlamat akhir).

Sejarah telah membuktikan bahawa orang-orang hebat dalam dunia islam, semuanya lahir dari keluarga yang islami. Seorang mujaddid, tidak lahir dengan niat mereka semata-mata, tetapi bermula daripada niat seorang atuk, ataupun seorang ayah!

Lihatlah Hasan Al-Banna. Lihatlah Maududi. Lihatlah Sayyid Qutb. Mereka semua adalah insan-insan yang ibu bapa mereka sangat mementingkan tarbiyyah anak-anak mereka. Islam adalah matlamat hidup mereka dan keluarga mereka. Biah yang terhasil dalam rumah-rumah mereka menyebabkan mereka sangat takut untuk keluar dari rumah mereka, dan sangat merindui suasana, biah di rumah mereka setiap relung masa yang ada.

Tidak keluarga mereka menyerahkan sahaja anak-anak mereka untuk dibentuk, ditarbiyyah oleh sistem sekular negara. Juga mereka tidak menyerahkan anak-anak mereka bulat-bulat ditarbiyyah oleh ikhwah-ikhwah lain semata-mata. Tetapi pentarbiyyahan itu bermula seawal di rumah, sang ayah sebagai naqib mereka yang pertama dan utama.

Berkahwin bukan untuk nafsu, tetapi untuk lahirkan para mujaddid!

dari :  http://narawastuilmu.blogspot.ca/search/label/Ku%20Ingin%20Daki%20Tangga%20Amalan%20itu...%20Bantulah%20Daku...

qudwah

kad undangan tidak membazir, seperti sarana pak cah dalam di jalan dakwah aku menikah

walimah boleh menjadi qudwah.

8 Ways to Raise Happy and Innovative Children

I am concerned that in the age of eHow, wiki, evidence-based, best practice and performance management, some readers may interpret this article as a blueprint to raise productive children. It is not. Children are dynamic and unique individuals.
As such this article is about me sharing my experience. Although I cherish my children’s academic achievements and winning international awards for various science and innovation competitions, I love them unconditionally. Needless to say, my children are not geniuses. I just wish to see them happy and healthy, embracing Islam fully. Below are just some of the steps I have taken in raising them:

1. Stop buying Garden and Home magazines

These magazines often make you feel miserable especially if you have hyperactive kids like me who turn the house into pirate ships or shops or schools. So,

• Adopt the Japanese minimalistic style, easy to clean and maintain.
• Learn one recipe for biscuits and cakes then diversify.
• Keep clothes at a minimum level.
• Rein in the household chores and involve the children.

2. Combine structured and informal learning

• Introduce adequate structure in your kids’ life especially for homework and reading the Qur’an or fardhu ain. For example, after school, get them tea and then home work for 1 hour. After that they are free to cycle, to jump, to paint, to do what they want to do (of course computers must be in the family public space).
• Get some other children together. If there is an open space for them, it is much better. However, if live in the areas where some bad characters may lurk, set up an informal play scheme. I used to organize a free play scheme on weekends with other mothers so that our children could play together in a safe environment, but with adequate distance from adults’ watchful eyes.
• Involve children in organizing trips and outdoor activities. My children love experiencing rough sleeping.

3. Encourage entrepreneurial spirit

• Give small amount of seed capital to your children. My children love making and selling things. In this way, they learnt maths, negotiation and communication skills early. They also learnt to make delightful products such as pop-up cards or special occasion cards and flowers for Eid and birthdays. But don’t go over the top, you could be taken to task for child labour.

4. Story books are their friends

• Adopt story telling as a way of explaining and learning typically ‘boring’ subjects. My children hated their text books. I don’t blame them because many text books are notoriously unreadable. But they love good story books, practically devoured them. Over so many years, storytelling has been a powerful method of learning and teaching. If you tell the kids that World War 2 was started by a guy called Hitler, they would soon fall asleep. But try telling that the war was started by a mustached guy who used to be bullied or a bully at school and lived in a place where kids disappeared (for example), watch the facial transformation.
• Visit libraries and book shops despite the age of digital books.
• Teach them to respect books and treat them with care.

5. Give them a sense of purpose

• Identify your children’s interests and nurture them.
• Don’t force them to be what you want them to be. However, explain to them about options and consequences.
• Don’t condemn but don’t overindulge them with praises either. When children have a clear sense of purpose, they will be motivated to work towards that goal. One of my daughters loves animals, astronomy and baking. Her ambition is to set up an animal shelter complete with a café and star gazing equipment.

6. Lead by action

• Undertake small projects and get your children involved but don’t force them.
• Explain to them the purpose of these projects. You can’t expect your children to be innovative if you yourself are lazy. When I started a TOTALLY FREE QURAN E-LEARNING (ehsanlearning.co.uk), it inspired my daughters to enter into an international Innovation Competition to help displaced people around the world or refugees, illustrate children’s books and develop e-learning courses for English as Additional Language children.

7. Find out your children’s learning barriers early

• Find out your children’s learning styles early. How do they learn? Are they auditory, visual, kinesthetic or logical learners? In this way, you can strengthen their learning.
• Don’t force your own learning style on your children.

8. Tell them there is no failure but learning

• Explain to your children that the focus should be on learning with a clear purpose not failure.
• Talk about options and limitations in achieving their ambitions. Be as realistic as possible but don’t thwart their ambitions.
• Get involved in your children’s school. For example, if your children could not get to the school they want, (the price of property in good schools’ catchment areas is ridiculously high) it is not the end of the world. My older daughters went to a school which has a notoriously bad reputation in the country. But one of them won an international science competition while a student there. She was invited to visit the NASA Centre in the US including meeting with astronauts. The school was so supportive in getting her visa by pestering the US embassy on a daily basis. Everyone was so excited including other parents and students. The school also supported another daughter to set up a Fair Trade shop and helped another one win a project sponsored by the local authority

“Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast? And We removed from you your burden. Which had weighed upon your back. And raised high for you your repute. For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. And to your Lord direct [your] longing” [Quran: Chapter 94].

the proposal

part 1: http://www.fimadani.com/ketika-proposal-itu-diminta/
part 2: http://www.fimadani.com/ketika-proposal-itu-diminta-bag-2/