:D

Abu Hanifah meriwayatkan dalam musnadnya, dari Jabir bin Abdullah, seorang telah menemui Rasulullah lalu berkata, “Wahai Rasulullah, saya tidak dikurniakan seorang anak pun dan sehingga kini saya tidak memiliki anak”.

Lalu Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, “Sudahkah kamu memperbanyakkan beristighfar dan bersedekah. Kamu akan dikurniakan (anak) berkat kedua-dua amalan itu”. Dengan izin Allah, orang yang mengadu nasibnya, akhirnya dikurniakan dengan sembilan anak lelaki.

the obedient

"Dear, the linen is not straight!" the wife exclaimed.

"No honey, it is fine. let it be" said the husband, trying to save time.

"Let me fix it". The wife was determined to perfect the bed, to please her OCD eyes.

"No. go get ready", and the husband stood between the wife and the bed, as he was firm with his decision.

And she was hurt. "Hubby always has it his way! This is unfair!" the wife silently complained.

See, it is not easy for a person who has been living to her own decisions for a majority of her lifetime, and suddenly has to receive orders from someone else.

It is not easy for an ukht who leads multiple halaqahs, who organizes programs with many participants and receiving only orders from distant murobbis, then suddenly she has to be an obedient creature, following every wishes and demands from a person. Of the opposite sex too!

So she cried. She silently protested. She recited the quran, when the husband was sitting next to her, trying to create conversations.

Then Allah showed her this aayah..

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. Quran 4:34

They have lovingly spent their savings so much for you. So righteous women, be devoutly obedient, even if its hard.

Thank you Allah. :)

isteri kedua

In the name of Allah,

Bila orang kata selamat menjadi isteri kedua jika mengahwini daie atau mujahid, saya ingat itu hanya mainan bahasa, poyo semata.

Bila ada ukhti meminta maaf (publicly) kerana belum bersedia membenarkan zaujnya ke palestin, saya tak faham kenapa dia tidak merelakan. bukankah itu cita-cita ulung semua?

Bila orang sanjung-sanjung khansa ra, kerana menghantar kesemua anaknya pergi berjihad, saya tidak merasakan itu big deal atau pengorbanan besar.

Kini faham. Istilah isteri kedua itu, bukanlah hanya mainan bahasa. Weekend, waktu cuti, yang mungkin sebagai manusia biasa kita mahu spend dengan orang tersayang, akan dicemburui dakwah. Akan dicemburui keperluan ummah. Berapa ramai asatizah yang terpaksa berjauhan dengan family beberapa minggu, kerana dihantar mengisi daurah di luar negara? Dan kalau dalam negara pun.

Moga allah terima pengorbanan kita. Dan sakeenah itu bukan pada bilangan jam yang diluangkan bersama, tetapi rasa cukup yang Allah letakkan. Have never felt this rahmah and mawaddah before.

This is a testimony how much I heart you, zauji.



'Ala kulli haal, jazakumullahukhairankatheera kepada ikhwah akhawat yang memahami, membantu, dan meng-accommodate.

trials

in the name of Allah...

All praise be to Allah, for I am in a very happy marriage. We have never fought, not a single major disagreement.

But seeing other ikhwah/akhawat/islamic scholars/syuyukhs who have complications in their marriage scared me to bits. I've seen it all, arguments as early as during the engagement period, physical abuse, baling periuk, live separately for months due to disagreement, divorce, etc.  What if any of these happen to us? Maybe not now but in the future, only God knows what will happen.

I told my concerns to zauji, and loved his answer. He simply said,
"bukan manusialah kita jika tiada masalah"

In the end, all those are trials and tribulations that God gave to those who can take the burden. so let's pray for them, but not be affected negatively by what happened.

I pray that in the end, everyone will live happily ever after in jannah. Even if its not with their current/ex spouse. inshaAllah.

May Allah give all of you strength to live this short, temporary, worldly life.

relationship

There are six keys to a GREAT relationship:

1- Friendship: Try to be your spouse best friend. No matter what happens, be a friend first, and a lover later.

 2- Trust: The key element to any relationship is trust, so before starting this beautiful journey with your spouse, learn to trust in all circumstances.

 3- Understanding: Try to figure out each other and work out on our differences. There are going to be many differences, but it’s mutual compromise and sacrifice which makes this relationship beautiful.

4- Communication: Try to talk and convey your message to your spouse. Let your spouse know about how good/ bad your day was along with remind them how you feel for them.

5- Honesty: Always speak the truth, never lie or hide things in fear that your spouse won’t understand. Give your spouse a chance to understand you.

6- Freedom: Give your spouse space and freedom to decide for themselves. Don’t take away the personal time of your spouse. When you have practiced all of the above, then trust Allah and you will see how beautiful life gets.

taaruf?

Ada ke sebenarnya proses taaruf dalam islam?
Awesome post here: http://salimafillah.com/nazhar-bukan-sekedar-taaruf/

Our taaruf

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful,

So many of my beloved akhawat wanted a detailed list of events on how my baitulmuslim was formed, as they need some guidance while they go through the taaruf process themselves.

I was planning to write the full story, but I dont think I will be able to do that in the near future. huhu. so here goes a summary of how our taaruf went.

I sent my bm form a long time ago, albeit not believing in the theory of marriage after seeing first hand domestic abuse cases and failed marriages between ikhwah and akhawat.

Anyways, in a separate event, zauji (then stranger) told his naqib that he wanted to get married. His naqib suggested a few names, and when it came to me zauji agreed. His naqib asked my naqibah if I wanted to get married at that time, and if my family allows it happening in the near future. Naqibah asked me, I told my parents and they gave the green light but wanted to meet zauji (then stranger) first. That was the point when we exchanged our biodata/profiles/the infamous bm forms.

Zauji (then stranger) was reluctant to meet my parents before meeting me face to face, as he wanted to make his heart firm that he is really putting forward the marriage proposal. So we met, at a mosque, with his naqib and his naqib's wife accompanying us.

It was nerve wrecking. Thankfully his naqib and naqib's wife were late, so I had extra time alone at the masjid to really purify my heart and intentions for the meeting (May Allah accept my 3mal).

The meeting was about an hour or so, questions were asked back and forth. I had a list of questions that I made up after reading his form, but too shy to even bring the paper out (lol). So it was more him asking me questions and me whispering the answers to the naqib's wife. Rofl. Not something you should follow!

Both of us were satisfied with the meeting, and agreed to continue taaruf through email threads. He then met my parents who interviewed him without my presence, and afterwards I met his parents without his presence to know zauji (then stranger) better.

That face to face meeting was our first and last due to geographical barriers. We continued taaruf on email threads cc-ing to my parents - for personal and wedding related issues, and cc-ing his naqib and the naqib's wife for daawah and tarbiyah issues. To be real honest I didn't really know him when we got married, and I was worried sick about that, but alhamdulillah with Allah's Mercy and Power everything went so smoothly! I can't ask for a more perfect match, and I get lovely surprises everyday as I know him better.

Zauji, 143!