How to Show Gratitude for the Blessing of Motherhood

by Sofia Nasir on March 13, 2013

by Sofia Nasir8 Comments

Posted on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 in Islam & Productivity

Motherhood is a blessing which has been given to us by Allah (glorified and exalted be He). It’s full of ups and downs, tears and laughs. At times tiring, other times energising. Let’s face it, being a mother in the 21st century is not easy; so here are a few tips to keep you on your toes.

What is motherhood? The responsibility of nurturing a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) stated: ’Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Sunan An-Nasâ’i]. This clearly indicates the importance of mothers and the high status they were given by Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). Mothers are the first point of comfort in a horrible situation, and therefore motherhood should not be taken as a light matter.

A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your mother.’ The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: ‘Then your father.’ [Muslim].

While there is an abundance of tips on fulfilling one’s role as a mother, here are a few important ones I have compiled for you:

1. Pray to Allah: Make regular dua to Allah, the power of dua is so immense. Say: “My Lord! Grant me righteous offspring.” [Quran: Chapter 37, Verse 100] as much as you can.

2. Strive to be caring and compassionate: Be patient with your child whatever the situation. Always remember children are innocent and need your mercy. The following was reported about the Messenger of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) : “I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back.” [Muslim]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: “A’isha, verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness). [Muslim]

3. Praise them regularly: This is a very powerful technique and will make them proud of themselves and confident.

4. Ensure your child loves Allah (glorified and exalted be He): Reminding them of all the blessings Allah (glorified and exalted be He) has showered upon them i.e. the eyes, ears, tongue, legs, etc. the list is endless. This will instill only love and make them appreciative and grateful towards Allah (glorified and exalted be He). Also, in adulthood, it will incline them to the way of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) inshallah.

5. Be very friendly: This includes having regular talks about random things, this will make them feel comfortable with you in the long run. Also play with your child as much as possible; trust me – they love this kind of thing.

6. Teach them responsibility: From a young age give them responsibilities i.e. for their toys and rooms.

7. Keep them away from gadgets: In this fast growing environment it’s so hard to keep up with technology for adults let alone children. Have we stopped to wonder how this is affecting our lifestyles? In the name of efficiency and effectiveness, a new gadget is released for kids almost every day. You should try and encourage your child to play outside rather than on the PSP or iPhone. Encourage them to read a book rather than playing on the computer. I found that the more gadgets a child has, the lazier they become.

8. Inspire them: Rather than making them fantasize about Spiderman and Barbie, tell them about real heroes like Abu Baqr as Sadiq, Umar, Uthman and Ali (may Allāh be pleased with them). For the girls, Asiya, Maryam, Khadiha and Fatima [ranham]. Tell them how these heroes and heroines strove for Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and how they spread Islam.

9. Involve them in acts of worship: If they grow up with your Islamic character, it won’t be a burden for them when they are older. Pray with them, recite Quran together, and discuss Islamic issues with them as a family. If they grow up seeing these values in effect from childhood, they will easily accept them when they grow up. They will understand it’s the best way of life.

10. Differentiate between halal and haram: You need to explain to a child what is permissible to them from Allah (glorified and exalted be He) and what is forbidden. They need to know in terms of eating haram and halal, as well as actions that are halal or haram like free mixing etc.

11. Bedtime stories: This has been a very popular way of putting a child to sleep. You can read to them the dua’s of sleeping and the importance of it. Explain to them how the angels will protect them by reciting ayat ul kursi as prescribed by the Rasool of Allah (glorified and exalted be He).

Something to keep you motivated through your journey of motherhood:

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) of Allah (glorified and exalted be He) said “whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, He and I will come together on the day of resurrection and he interlaced his fingers.” (Meaning in paradise) [Al adab Al mufrad]

I as a mother have faced many challenges, and above are the things I felt worked for my children and made motherhood a little easier SubhaanAllah. Please share your own tips to help others in their motherhood journey!

 About the Author:

Sofia Nasir is a mother of three, alhumdulillah. She is a student of knowledge and looking into writing as a career.

Click to read more: http://productivemuslim.com/gratitude-for-blessing-ofmotherhood/#ixzz2Nk9kh95c
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pjj

-->long distance marriage - pros n cons dia?

N: jawapan ringkasnye; kalau ada cara utk buat jadi x long distance sila usahakan

N: at the same time, kalau tahu akan long distance bukan sebab utk xnak taaruf

N: anyway dia mcm bagus sbb nnti hdup mcm org bujang while dah ade tmpt mencurahkan/dicurahkan kasih syg

N: so bole sgt fokus pd akhwt

N: dia x bagus sbb dia x tabi'ie

N: mengikut pengalaman kalau lepas2 kawen je terus duk jauh, susah utk menstabilkan emosi

N: sbb time awal2 tu mmg sgt angau

N: kalau boleh duduk together for 3 months or so

N: then pisah, shud be better

A: tak advisable kalau terpaksa nak buat camne
A: tapi depends la jauh camne and boleh tak jumpa within that period
A: and kena make a point la nak jumpa

-->apa effects dia?
A: tak kenal, tak dpt build the relationship
A: kalau kena you just have to work it out la tapi kalau boleh jangan, janganla lagi lagi tak kenal
A: you need ample time to build the relationship

C: kena sabar, mungkin akan jadi banyak salah faham, jealous ke apa
C: kalau jadi, kita kena selalu mengalah. lelaki kan ada ego.
C: banyak sabar, kita mintak maaf takpe.

5 Tips to Spending Productive Time with Your Kids

Spending productive time with our children is essential to raising them up properly. It is related that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:

“All of you are shepherds, and each one is responsible for his flock.A leader is a shepherd and he is responsible for those in his care. A man is a shepherd over his family, and he is responsible for his flock. A woman is like a shepherd over her husband’s house and children, and she is responsible for them. And a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. So all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges” [Sunan Abi Dawud].

We don’t often experience the sight of shepherds guiding their sheep across a meadow to graze. But anyone who has seen the image of a young man with staff in hand and a flock of sheep trailing behind can attest to the fact that the proper maintenance of one’s flock necessitates the spending of time.

Here are five tips on how mothers can be more productive when spending time with their kids:

1. Talk to your child.

Mothers have a myriad of responsibilities to perform throughout the day. We prepare meals, wash and fold laundry, clean the house, transport to and from school — the list goes on and on. During some of these activities, however, we have the opportunity to do a bit of multi-tasking and connect with our kids.

The next time you pick up your daughter from school and commute back home, ask her about how her day went in school, who her friends are, or who her favorite teacher is. Back at home while folding the clothes or putting the dishes away, discuss with your young one what you accomplished during the day and what still remains to be done.

Make it a point to be accessible to your child when she approaches you with a concern that she has. Of course, during your daily routine of chores and errands, you won’t always be able or willing to provide your child with attentive conversation. Do the best you can. And do make a conscious effort to meet your child eye-to-eye to show your interest.

When your child approaches you during the day to tell you about something important that’s on her mind, use that as an opportunity to carry the conversation further and instill some of your values, or to simply lend an affectionate ear.

2. Listen to your child.

Take the time to sincerely listen to your child express her complaints, concerns, and happy moments. This helps build a needed bond between you and your young one. Children need to feel they have a significant individual who is concerned about their needs, wants, and problems. Showing concern for your child’s emotional state helps her develop healthy social skills for interacting with others around her.

3. Take your child on outings.

Spending time with your child away from home does not require much planning, time, or money. The places to take your child are endless:

• Take her on a short excursion with you to the mailbox at the street corner to deliver a letter. This will help her develop a greater understanding of the postal process—but more importantly, it will show that you enjoy her company.
• Let her join you on your trip to the gas station to pump gas in the car.
• Take her along with you to go shopping for groceries.
• Discover new things at the museum.
• Enjoy a walk to the park or playtime at the playground.
• Take a stroll through the mall.

You are your child’s center of attention; let your little one know you desire to be around her as well.

4. Discipline respectfully and kindly.

When you correct your child for misbehavior, be gentle in doing so. It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said,

“O Ayesha! There is nothing that has gentleness in it except that it beautifies it, and it is not taken away from anything except that it defiles it” [Muslim].

Often times, a gentle approach of explaining to your child her error is sufficient. Better yet, reward her for the times she behaves appropriately.  When she remembers to take her bath without a reminder, let her know you are pleased by giving her a special hug or kiss. When she shares with her younger sibling, tell her Allah likes that type of behavior and let her have extra time on the computer before bedtime. Your daughter will learn that even though she isn’t perfect, she does have positive aspects about her behavior. This feeling of accomplishment will spur further appropriate conduct in the future, insha’Allah.

5. Be patient with your child.

Allah says in Quran,

“And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah” [42:43].

Remaining patient with your child’s shortcomings is an honorable act that you should strive to make a habit of. When you refrain from saying hurtful words and avoid lashing out angrily when your child misbehaves, you present a living example for your child to model after. One of the primary ways we teach our children is through example. When they observe how we handle difficult situations, they learn how they should handle them, too.

All of these tips on how to spend productive time with your child necessitate being there for them. Quality time is important, but quantity time is as well. Being a shepherd is an enormous responsibility. Make a conscious effort to spend productive time with your child regularly. On the Day of Judgment we will be asked about how we spent our time. Spending it productively on our children is a valuable way to get blessings from Allah, insha’Allah, and a wonderful way to maintain our flock.

Kemandirian Ekonomi
Seorang laki-laki seharusnya telah mampu membiayai hidupnya sendiri sejak
memasuki masa taklif, yaitu usia 15 tahun menurut sistem penanggalan qamariyyah
atau lunar system. Selambat-lambatnya usia 18 tahun, seharusnya ia sudah berusaha
untuk memenuhi kebutuhan hidupnya dengan hasil keringatnya sendiri, walaupun
orangtua masih mampu membiayai dan sekaligus masih mau membiayai.

-kupinang engkau dengan hamdalah, ust faudzil'adzim

something yg rasanya ramai parents terlepas pandang. jom kita didik anak-anak lelaki kita? bisnes bisnes bisnes. dan im not someone yg so into business pun. but ive seen it with my own eyes, how it shapes responsibilities, even in non ikhwah. even in someone who doesnt remember their purpose of life. it promotes discipline. and in days like today, when everyone is provoked with the beauty of love between men and women, we have to prep them even earlier, so that they CAN get married early.

bukan sekadar sbb kita beri izin, but also sebab mereka memang layak!

inshaAllah.

the other day i called home, and casually asked ummi what did she cook on that day. hesitantly, she replied, 'masak lemak ikan jenahak'.

when i called today, ummi was having breakfast, but before i had the chance to ask, she said, "dont worry, everything is what you can make on your own"

how thoughtful of ummi. heh~

bismillah,

only a week after touchdown, I wanted to sleepover at my naqibah's house(shared with many other sisters). So in order to make my mum pleased, I tidied the whole house to an extreme, did everything I can so that she can not complain one single thing, and will be pleased with me, hence getting Allah's redha.

That was the sole intention.

I left the house, feeling proud of myself. 

Only to receive a call from her just a few hours after that, saying she was very upset with me for I didn't take out coconut milk that she wanted to use (I wasn't told to).

Yes I know, it is the intention, and the effort that matter. But I was very disappointed, and I talked to her about it a few days after that, when she was in a good mood. 

You know what did she say about it? "Oh I'm preparing you for your mother in law".

I couldn't help but laugh. Sigh. 

bismillah,

whenever i talk abt him to ppl, i would always describe him as someone who is very quiet and distant from the family. dont get me wrong. we were very close. extremely close. until one day he went to boarding school and came back as a man, and no longer a boy. that changed everything.

so that was what i think of him, until recently. i just realized, he does make effort to be a dear brother to me. it is me, who distanced myself away from him.

whenever he says something to me, it is me who doesnt reply, merely because i do not know what to say. and the jokes he makes, go by without me laughing at them.

however, i seriously do not remember the last time he was this nice to me. dear sel, do not ruin things.

oh Allah, thank you for this opportunity. i do love him sincerely for the sake of Allah. please please make us go to jannah together.