a very good talk.

• marriages only happen if Allah willed it. arrum 21. its from His signs, that its possible for people to come together. His miracles
• arrum 21: allah made your spouse AMONG you: dalil for 'sekufu'
• -tadabbur arum 21 it IS the power of Allah, the MIRACLE of Allah. No matter where they come from, if Allah says so, inshaallah you can live together.
  -in laws; can’t just shut them out of your life. Treat them like your parents
  -obedience from wife is the way to tell the husband you love him
  -zammiluni, also used for plastic bags. When fall in mud, don’t get dirty. Be that. Protect the husband’s honor. They need the comfort of mind when they are away. In annur
  -husband’s responsibility: to provide the way she is used to live! If wife is willing to tolerate a lower standard, bismillah, tawakkal ‘alallah. Pray allah make it work out.
  -arrum 21: litaskunu ilaiha (sakinah: peace & tranquillity) come BEFORE mawaddah wa rahmah! Can you see that you can live with him? Can you see that you will be able to carry the responsibilities and they upon you?
  :Waja’ala bainakum mawaddah. Not merely love. But love, and everything that it takes to love. When bad situations come (hurt, etc), you can still say, I still love him, let me give him another chance, let that one pass, he didn’t mean it. Allah’s throne shakes when divorce is said, divorce is the most hated ibadah by Allah, weak hadiths. But the wisdom behind it is authentic.
  Allah is alwaduud, ask from him!!! Ya al-waduud, grant us mawaddah!
  :Wa rahmah. Allah said mawaddah wa rahmah. Together. Hand in hand! Rahmah – for the spouse’s shortcomings! Be compassionate! Story of ‘umar was screamed at by his wife. His people: ya amiirulmu’miniin, you are such and such person, why did you let her scream at you?
  Thus umar’s wife described him as “a lion outside the house but a kitten inside” J
  We love when the spouse show the LITTLE sign of love, do the LITTLE something, it shows magnitudesss of love.
  -wife, work out problems! Stay all night if you have to. Make it a priority. It’s Allah’s amanah. Wife, make it a goal to make your husband content with you before he goes to sleep every night. Rewards of feeding spouse = giving charity in the path of Allah. p/s:lol this is so easy but so hard!
  -happy marriages will make you feel like you’re living in gardens of paradise. That’s the goal of marriage, to make life easier, to make your life happier, to give you comfort that other trials in the dunya doesn’t give.  
  -may you be a muttaq! One who fears Allah, at all times at all place.
   
• husbands are your door to paradise, women