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Rijaal qawwamun ‘alannisa-men are caretakers by nature. Receiving respect is a sign that they are taking care of us.

How to respect – don’t second guess his decisions. That makes him feel not qualified. Let him do things, it’s his money. Don’t always comment on his mistakes, UNLESS he asks. Respect his judgement even if he is wrong. Let him learn from his mistakes, and then he will become irritated with himself, not with us. Don’t become his mother. Don’t rub his mistakes in!

-          Trust his ability to fix situations. A husband want to save the day, trust his knowledge.

-          Use respectful words and tone. Stop nagging. There’s a time and place for everything, remind at the right times and place. He might have things that are more important agenda. Don’t retort his arguments with a sarcastic combat.

-          Don’t make a joke about him in public.

-          Compliment, to show that you look up to him

-          If you accidentally disrespect him, acknowledge it, apologize. Be a woman.

He wants to provide – his fitrah. His language of love, to work longgg hours to get more money.

-          Therefore complaints would make them angry, a sign of ungratefulness. Find a compatible middle.

-          Understand that they work for you, for your kids. As a man, they worry about money.  Don’t feel that they are making you second after work.

It empowers them – its not just a biological need.

-          We might not understand what’s the big deal about it. But that type of attention makes them feel loved.

-          If this is fulfilled, all other faults are ignored. Vice versa, small faults look huge if not fulfilled.

-          Saying no is the ultimate sign of disrespect, extremely demoralizing.”you’re not a man for me”

p/s: men by nature bottles up emotions