So many of my beloved akhawat wanted a detailed list of events on how my baitulmuslim was formed, as they need some guidance while they go through the taaruf process themselves.
I was planning to write the full story, but I dont think I will be able to do that in the near future. huhu. so here goes a summary of how our taaruf went.
I sent my bm form a long time ago, albeit not believing in the theory of marriage after seeing first hand domestic abuse cases and failed marriages between ikhwah and akhawat.
Anyways, in a separate event, zauji (then stranger) told his naqib that he wanted to get married. His naqib suggested a few names, and when it came to me zauji agreed. His naqib asked my naqibah if I wanted to get married at that time, and if my family allows it happening in the near future. Naqibah asked me, I told my parents and they gave the green light but wanted to meet zauji (then stranger) first. That was the point when we exchanged our biodata/profiles/the infamous bm forms.
Zauji (then stranger) was reluctant to meet my parents before meeting me face to face, as he wanted to make his heart firm that he is really putting forward the marriage proposal. So we met, at a mosque, with his naqib and his naqib's wife accompanying us.
It was nerve wrecking. Thankfully his naqib and naqib's wife were late, so I had extra time alone at the masjid to really purify my heart and intentions for the meeting (May Allah accept my 3mal).
The meeting was about an hour or so, questions were asked back and forth. I had a list of questions that I made up after reading his form, but too shy to even bring the paper out (lol). So it was more him asking me questions and me whispering the answers to the naqib's wife. Rofl. Not something you should follow!
Both of us were satisfied with the meeting, and agreed to continue taaruf through email threads. He then met my parents who interviewed him without my presence, and afterwards I met his parents without his presence to know zauji (then stranger) better.
That face to face meeting was our first and last due to geographical barriers. We continued taaruf on email threads cc-ing to my parents - for personal and wedding related issues, and cc-ing his naqib and the naqib's wife for daawah and tarbiyah issues. To be real honest I didn't really know him when we got married, and I was worried sick about that, but alhamdulillah with Allah's Mercy and Power everything went so smoothly! I can't ask for a more perfect match, and I get lovely surprises everyday as I know him better.
Zauji, 143!
